We watched a family movie recently called "Mom's Night Out" which was really funny and good..the movie is about a mom who wonders if she is 'enough' - and at the end of the movie, two statements are made that sum up so well what I feel God has been showing me this past year of my life..
The two thoughts are basically:
My life does not have to change for me to be happy.
I am not a failure; God says I am enough, even perfect.
These two thoughts are so profound to me, and I feel like they are such revelations deep in my heart. I can really be happy right now, no matter what life looks like at this moment. And I am really okay/enough right now, no matter what I am like at this moment. I don't have to wait till things change in order to be happy - happiness is mine now. And I don't have to wait till I change to be okay/enough - I am fine right now. God is fine with me and my life right now, and so I can be as well!
These two truths have given me such peace and joy in the last several months. I have had a newfound love of life growing inside of me, a cherishing of the simple things like my daughter's smile or long walks in the woods. I have seen so suddenly the beauty, the wild deliciousness, the precious value of this life we have here on earth, every breath something to be savored, every sunrise and sunset something to be enjoyed, every laugh with a family member something to be cherished. I have become so grateful for this life and is seems so wonderful, even in the midst of the chaos that sometimes occurs in my circumstances.
And I have been so much more 'okay' with ME lately..so much more willing to give myself a break, to let myself feel what I really feel, even if it is a so-called 'unacceptable' emotion like anger, doubt, bitterness, or frustration. I have allowed my soul to voice questions and struggles, allowed myself to be real, to be imperfect, to be messy. And yet I feel more whole, settled, grounded, and at peace than ever! It seems every time I allow a part of me that is hurting to express that hurt feeling, the feeling seems to be soothed somehow and calm down..and work itself out naturally without any effort..almost as if some part of me that was hurting just wanted to be noticed, heard, loved and validated..allowed to express its feelings and be loved and embraced in the midst of them..and then that part seems to be more okay, calmer, quieted down inside. It is almost like the hurting parts are like a little child crying, and that little one calms down as it is held, listened to, allowed to share its hurts. Every part of me deserves love, validation, acceptance and understanding. Every part of me deserves pampering, kindness, help and support. Every part of me is made by God and special!
I just wanted to share these two wonderful thoughts. I am so thankful and grateful for this wonderful life we all are sharing together here on this planet as children of God. I love each of you and am so thankful to have you as my brothers and sisters in this great family!