That really stuck with me and I want to ponder it more. I have focused on my behavior so much when it comes to my relationship with God. I have thought that God focused on my behavior, too. I have imagined Him shaking His head at me in disappointment, wishing I could just do better, pray more, have more faith, increase in holiness, etc. etc. etc!
But what if God isn't focusing on my works or deeds or behavior at all? What if He is just focusing on how much He loves me?
I really believe that is a big part of the grace message of God to us - that He is not all about behavior and works. That He is all about love and grace. That He loves us regardless of our behavior and without any reference to whether we ever improve or not!
Recently a wonderful blessing came to our extended family. On my husband's side of the family there is a young man who married a lovely girl. For ten years they waited, hoped, prayed and wished for a baby. But a baby never came for all those long years. Then finally, this year a miracle occurred and they found out they were expecting a baby! You can imagine the tears of relief and joy they had! And just a few days ago, they welcomed their beautiful baby boy into this world! The baby is beautiful, a tiny perfect human being with a sweet little expression and lovely dark hair. The photos they posted of them holding this little one, wearing caps that said "Dad" and "Mom" just made tears come to my eyes.
And I started imagining how much that baby is already cherished and loved! It has been prayed for, wished for, hoped for, dreamed for..for so many long years. Finally the hopes and dreams have come to pass and the baby is now in their arms. They have many years of love stored up for this little one, and all they want to do is pour out their love on this little guy, hold him, rock him, spend time studying his every feature, singing to him, and just smiling at him! They probably don't want to put him down, but just hold him every second!
And I realized, that must be how God sees all of us! He has waited for the moment we would be created and born, has dreamed of us and brought us into existence. All He wants to do is pour out His love on us! All He wants to do is hold us in His arms and sing to us! All He wants to do is take care of us, cherish us, nurture us, and spend all His time with us!
I can't imagine my relatives worrying about their baby's behavior! It's a joke to even think such a thing! It's not on their mind whether he will be good enough, smart enough, behave well enough, or obey them enough to please them! Their minds aren't on his behavior, they are just on how much they love him.
And I really believe that is the way God feels about us, too. He sees us as His dear little ones, babes in His arms, and His mind isn't on our behavior, it's just on how much He loves us!
I think about that new little baby. He hasn't even had time to DO any behaving, obeying, trusting, yielding or performing yet! But he is still loved in such a big way. I believe that is the same with God and us. He loves us apart from our behavior and without reference to any behavior! God isn't concerned with that, He isn't judging us, He isn't demanding some amazing behavior from us. He is just loving us.
And out of that love He is being there for us, He is helping us, He is blessing us, He is caring for us, whether we ever perform well or not. His love and care come to us not because we have perfect behavior, or perfect motivations, or even perfect faith. Not with reference to anything coming from us at all! Just like any parent loves and takes care of their little one, not because the child made that happen in some way, but just because that's their beloved child!
Let's accept that, let's bask in that love, let's give ourselves a break and love ourselves! Let's relax in the arms that are holding us and see His smile towards us! Daddy is cherishing us and always will. We will always be infinitely loved by Him and we will always be in His arms!
Beautiful things I want to remember:
You are the child God always wanted.
God loves you without reference to anything you DO.
You simply ARE His beloved, cherished child.
He is happy with the way He made you!
You can love and cherish yourself, as God does.
See His eyes of love on you and feel His arms holding you.
You are beautiful to God and He is so proud to be your Dad!