However, even getting this truth, I found myself still focusing on righteous things coming out in my life. I figured if I "got" grace, I would grow, and I looked for that growth and goodness and got discouraged if I didn't see it. But that's not the focus either. It's true that being our righteous selves naturally brings the fruit of a righteous lifestyle, yet that is just a by-product. The focus is not really on "not sinning" or on "righteous lifestyle" but just on Him!
What if we didn't even think of sinning or not sinning at all? What if we just enjoyed the presence of Jesus and His unconditional love for us, with the truth of His finished work just filling up our mind? Jesus is supposed to be the one handling this "living of life" anyway, not us! It's not our business to think about sinning or not OR doing right or not - that's Law, the wrong tree! It's our business to enjoy Him - that's Life, the right tree!
One day I was worrying over something, and I finally just said, "Jesus, I am just going to hang out with You and think about Your love for me. I'm just going to think on grace and all You've done and just bask in You. Because that's what I want to do. You will be taking care of that issue..." And suddenly, it was like a light bulb went on. I realized that that was what was meant by "letting Jesus live through you", a phrase I had never been able to wrap my mind around. To me it means that we get to hang out and rest with Jesus in His grace and love (eat from the tree of life) while He deals with everything involved in working out grace in our lives! Letting Jesus live through you means you are getting to just be with Jesus and renew your mind on His love and grace. He is the One responsible for the "living out" part! Not us!
"We're not focused on the living; we're focused on the Life!" (Bob George)
Grace doesn't come to us so we can stop sinning or be good: it comes to us so we can know HIM! (Sure, good fruit comes from that, but that's only the fruit, and the fruit is not the Life, the tree is - and the tree of Life is HIM!)
So that means I shouldn't feel guilty for reading about grace, thinking about His love, and studying the truths of my new life in Him. I'm just enjoying the tree of life. It isn't selfish to ponder how much He loves me or to just "be" in His presence and feel that love! It isn't wasted time at all to learn about His love or bask in the joy of being loved. Wasn't Mary accused of wasting her time when she sat at Jesus' feet and listened to Him? Yet Jesus said she picked the best thing of all and it wouldn't be taken from her! I want to soak in His love today and not think about "doing;" He takes care of that! That, to me, is "letting Christ live through me."
With love,
