That's when I identify with Peter. He really felt he would never deny Christ. He was so sure of the passion in his heart for Jesus. Yet he turned around and denied Jesus three times. And Jesus looked at Peter...You know when I read that in my past law-based days, I always saw that as a disappointed, I-told-you-so kind of look. But I think it was a love gaze, really. There's a quote by Brennan Manning that really speaks to me about this very moment in Peter's life:
"Peter knew that no man had ever loved him or no woman could ever love him as Jesus did. The Man whom he confessed as the Christ, the Son of the living God, looked into his eyes, saw the transparent terror there, watched him act out the dreadful drama of his security addiction, AND LOVED HIM. The love of Jesus for Peter lay in his complete and unconditional acceptance of him."
Jesus looked on Peter and loved him. He knew he would deny Him. It was no surprise to Him that Peter failed. Yet that fact didn't change Jesus' love and acceptance of Peter one bit. He gazed on him with love and Peter melted and wept.
After the resurrection, the disciples and Jesus were having breakfast on the shore of the Sea of Galilee. Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. Now in my old way of thinking, I always saw this as Jesus convicting Peter of his sin, reminding him that he'd denied Christ three times and really needed to work on his love quotient. I saw it under law, I suppose, as Christ calling Peter to be better, do better, love better. But now I see it differently. Jesus knew what was in Peter's heart. He knew Peter loved Him. But maybe Peter didn't know it. Maybe he still felt guilty about those denials and unsure of his own heart. And so I see those three questions as Jesus' way of assuring Peter that he did love Him and that Jesus Himself knew that. He saw the good in Peter that he himself couldn't see. He even saw the future, that he would be ministering the life of Christ to others. He affirmed him and built him up.
This is exactly how I feel Jesus is with me and with all of us. We all fail. But Jesus gazes on us with love. He already knows about those failures. They are no surprise to Him, and He is not disappointed in us. He knows that we will fail. And He's taken away all those failures onto the cross and they are NO MORE. They are gone and forgotten, out of His sight and out of His mind. He's made us new creations with His righteousness as our own. He sees us complete, whole, perfect, new, right and lovely. For we are in Him, and He is all those things and has made us all those things. He tenderly shows us what is in our heart. It isn't evil or dirty as we may sometimes suspect if we consider our failings. No, it is beautiful, clean, pure, and new. Filled with Him. His heart pulses within our own and as our own. His love pulses there with every beat. He shows us that we ARE okay with Him, we ARE love because the One who IS love is our very Life now. He shows us the beautiful creations we now ARE in Him and that the Life of Christ IS oozing out of us to others!
So yes, I fall flat on my face sometimes. So what? Jesus has taken care of that sin already and given me His perfect righteousness and even given me Himself. And I'm not a yucky sinner anymore - that person died on the cross with Christ. I'm a new creation, filled with His resurrection life and with His very love bursting from my heart. I can stop thinking about my performance for He loves me as I am. He gazes on me with love and accepts me, whether I'm flat on my face or jumping with joy in His grace. And that's true for all of us who are in Him!
He's looking at us with love today, gazing upon us with delight! And in those eyes of love, we are perfectly lovely to Him!
With love,
